The study is based on a survey of a nationally representative sample of people, age 18 to 91, who were asked to respond online to questions designed to measure social skills, stress, loneliness, and mental and physical health.
Social skills refer to the communication skills that allow people to interact effectively and appropriately with others. Segrin focused on four specific indicators of social skills: the ability to provide emotional support to others; self-disclosure, or the ability to share personal information with others; negative assertion skills, or the ability to stand up to unreasonable requests from others; and relationship initiation skills, or the ability to introduce yourself to others and get to know them.
Study participants who had deficits in those skills reported more stress, more loneliness, and poorer overall mental and physical health, Segrin said. While the negative effects of stress on the body have been known for a long time, loneliness is a more recently recognized health risk factor.
It's as serious of a risk as smoking, obesity or eating a high-fat diet with lack of exercise," Segrin said. Segrin likens the experience of loneliness to the way people feel when they're in a hurry to get out the door and can't find their keys — except the feeling never truly goes away. They're not finding what they're looking for, and that stress of frantically searching takes a toll on them.
Social skills are mostly learned over time, beginning in your family of origin and continuing throughout life. Yet, some scientific evidence suggests that certain traits, such as sociability or social anxiousness, may be at least partly hereditary, said Segrin, who has studied social skills for 31 years.
While Segrin doesn't address it in his current study, he says that technology, for all its benefits, may be taking a serious toll on social skills, especially in young people. However, sometimes it's perfectly fine to say, "Wow, that's really cool. Ask your interlocutor another question. Nod your head. Be silent. And you can also move to idea 9. When I am in the company of people who cannot stop talking, I feel drained and I need to spend time alone to recharge.
Follow up. Regarding networking, most people think that a high-powered approach is to be courageous, approach others first, and start the conversation. That is the initiation of networking. The truest power of networking lies in following up. That is how relationships are built. It's a marathon, not a sprint. Remember what the person you met likes idea 6 and send him or her a useful link to an article, webinar, workshop, or podcast.
And do it! This will show that you are caring, diligent, consistent, and reliable. How many times did someone promise to send you something and never did?
A gazillion. People who actually follow through are therefore rare and precious. Know when to leave. Don't get me wrong, but nobody wants to chat only with you for hours. Have a nice conversation and move on.
It's all about love. Last but not least, love is the key ingredient. It's kind of funny how we all want social hacks and tricks. The biggest trick of them all is love. That is the ultimate social skill. Love people, respect people, admire people, be interested in what people are going through, compliment people, see the best in people, forgive people, don't judge people, help people, shower people with your love.
And then all of these other ideas will be fine adjustments. Can we talk about talking? Things are so bad that even Halloween , once a reliably safe topic, has become triggering. Who are these people who used to be able to. One of them was Kristin Cronin, an extroverted marketing executive. The only people we feel comfortable talking to now, apparently, are therapists. Clients are stressed about violating new and shifting rules of etiquette, which include, but are not limited to: Am I standing far enough away?
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